I’ve noticed from coaching leaders in various industries and environments that feedback can be viewed in differing ways, depending on the culture of that industry or environment. For some feedback is a regular occurrence ( a very regular occurrence in some industries) that’s integral to progress, part of the learning and accepted as such.
For others it isn’t part of the culture so there can be a discomfort in how it’s both given and received.
How we give and receive feedback is also linked to our individual experience of it both personally and professionally.
How do you feel when you hear the word ‘feedback’?
Do you have a negative feeling about it or do you feel positive about it?
Feedback really is a ‘gift’ if we choose to receive it.
Feedback can often be something that is provided without asking for it. That in itself can contribute to how we receive it.
Here are ten things to help you get the most from feedback (positive or negative)
1. Notice how you feel when you get it. This helps us get clear on what we are comfortable or uncomfortable with.
2. Seek out feedback. Asking for feedback on your own terms helps us to have a different mindset and helps us receive it positively.
3. Consciously choose your mental state before receiving feedback. How do you want to ‘be’. For example ‘open’ or ‘closed’.
4. Do what works for you to get yourself in a calm relaxed state. For example, deep breaths or a walk outside. This helps us activate the most helpful part of our brain in this sort of situation ( Pre frontal cortex).
5. View all feedback as an opportunity. An opportunity to improve, to grow or to build more skills.
6. Be curious and ask questions. Feedback is a two way process. Understand the ‘why’ or the ‘what’s missing’ to get as much insight a possible.
7. Know that the person providing the feedback is providing their perspective. It’s their truth and its helpful to appreciate different perspectives.
8. Extract whatever learning you can and acknowledge the rest.
9. Take time to reflect after the feedback. Ask yourself: What do I want to do with what I’ve learnt?
10. Notice how accepting you were of the feedback, both internally and externally. Was there a difference?
It’s within our gift to turn feedback into a big shiny parcel with a bow on it.
Oh and my final top tip, using visual images affects how we think, feel and behave about things.
What visual image would you attach feedback to in your mind to make sure it connects as a positive? A big shiny star, a magic wand or a big parcel wrapped up with a bow, ready to be discovered?
It’s your choice.